guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
