I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
