i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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