He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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