the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
