I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
