He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
