Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
