this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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