The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
