awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
barbara walters just said penis...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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