who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If I had your ass I would rule the world
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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