How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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