please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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