who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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