Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
