lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
