he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
