Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize