Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
