I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
