I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just puked most of my soul out..
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