So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The adults are the big ones right?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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