Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
do herpes really smell.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
