I should be sponsored by Trojan
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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