Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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