i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
