So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
