Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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