you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
