am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
