That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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