You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
