he shaved USA in his pubs
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
