OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
