? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
