he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
