I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
