Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
