YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
