i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
