thus making me awesome and them whores
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
