wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
