You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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