woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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