Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
