i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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