Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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