oh god the rape fog is back!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
