I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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