We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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