How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
