i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
