eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
