My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
