VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
