I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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