i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
