My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
