He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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