under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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