So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
