Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
