Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
