yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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