just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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