now i know why i became what i already was.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
