Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
