I can tuck mytits in my pants
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
